I see dead peopleThe most boring form of protest is the die-in; where — according to Wikipedia — “participants simulate being dead (with varying degree of realism).”

Varying degrees of realism. What a phrase! The wife and I and a few friends were at this protest in Boston a couple of years ago. The die-in was an unmitigated failure. After all, the dead don’t normally engage in casual chitchat, eat, drink, smoke (cigarettes or otherwise), call policemen on horses pigs to their faces, or prattle incessantly into their cellphones.

Plus it’s so boring. How much time is enough for being deceased? Ten minutes? Thirty? An hour? At least the true dead get to lie in soft, comfy dirt. Protesting fakes have to resign their lifeless bodies to hard pavement.

Then, at the end of it all, there are the big questions. Are we done yet? Can I come back to life? Is the war over?